I said I wouldn’t be naming my year this year—and I didn’t name it to be sure—but life had other plans; that on its own was such a beautiful symbol for where I was being lead. As 2021 was trickling to its end, a few thoughts came up into my subconscious and they really stood out. They were: 

  1. It doesn’t have to be perfect
  2. Surrender
  3. You always know the right thing to do

This is the order that they came up for me, but the first lesson I am learning this year is Surrender—which I guess is on brand as well. Here are a few things that I am learning about Surrender:

What is Surrender?

I have been wrestling with many things in my life recently; a death in my family, deadlines, turning points and changes. The stress of it all lead me to take a social media break yesterday. During my break The Great Unknown (I’ve been calling God the great unknown recently) imprinted a thought about surrender on my heart. The revelation was:

’to surrender is to stand in the center of every possible outcome and to not latch onto any of them’ what a vulnerable place to stand!

I had been latching onto certain desired outcomes in my own life and their absence was bringing me pain. This revelation rung so deeply inside of me that it made me weep, and my second instinct was to pray; what’s left to hold onto within surrender, other than the Great Unknown? 

Surrender Under Stress

Sometimes when you are under a ton of pressure, like myself right now, and so many things are out of your control you hyper focus and latch onto one life-outcome and make it the key to your happiness. But the actual truth for me is: there are so many things going on in my life and the only way to transcend my circumstances is to relinquish control, stand in the center of it all, trust God, get to work and have perspective. Our tangible circumstances aren’t always finished and full of joy, but if we stand in the center of it all and look to The Great Unknown for solace, guidance and comfort, eventually a path will appear. Putting all my focus in one area is an avoidance strategy and is just delaying the work that I need to do. 

To surrender is to have faith in the face of the unknown; so surrender is in a positive direction. To surrender is to hope and hope is one of the most vulnerable things you can do. To surrender is to believe that the Greatest Unknown—God—has your best interest in mind, laying down your burdens and doing your part. 

Surrender to ‘I don’t know’

There are very few things that are certain in life and but we often create certainty out of assumptions. Recently I decided to embrace the three words ‘I don’t know’. When I ask myself questions like ‘why did that man look at me like that? or, why doesn’t she want to be friends? or why didn’t things work out between us? Instead of filling in those blanks with insecurity or fear—narratives that give me a sense of control, I remind myself: I-don’t-know. Because I don’t! This allows me to see myself and my circumstances with curiosity and expands my self concept in a positive direction. 

Maybe our outcomes are so self-fulfilling because we don’t surrender enough. Where there is surrender there is possibility, abundance and our wildest dreams. 


Amber B

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